Diary of a Teacher

 When you find yourself stood in your cap and gown, face sore from smiling at your mum's phone camera since the moment you woke up, clinging onto that fake plastic scroll (sorry - spoiler alert - your actual degree will already be framed on your bedroom wall at this point), you cannot believe that this day has come. That your hard work has paid off. That you not only did well in your exams at school or college, that you were offered a place at university, you were able to have a roof over your head, you had access to the technology needed to complete the work, you passed assignments or exams and are somehow stood here today, in a sea of silly hats and capes, beaming with pride. Did it ever cross your mind in those moments to feel concerned for all those who did not make it as far? Who had to drop out, who had personal responsibilities, social barriers, those who didn't even think it an option? Did your guilt for being circumstantially 'lucky' enough to find yourself wit...

  Why did no one warn us of the turbulence that your 20s brings? This decade is so readily reminisced about by elders, gushing over the best years, sold to us as the only time in your life worth revisiting. It is described with doting and reassuring labels such as: - 'the best years of your life' - 'your body will never be better' -'friendships will be strong' -'you'll be partying non-stop' -'not a care in the world' ..... what? I feel miss sold. There must be a claim line coming soon because let me tell you, I am half way through and it has been a roller-coaster, rapidly approaching rock bottom with the occasional unexpected high.  Don't get me wrong, I am not here to bitch about how awful my life is, because it is not. Absolutely not. I am blessed, grateful and acutely aware of my successes and luck. Yet that does not mean that happiness is part and parcel of this. It does not mean that because I have secure employment and am a homeowne...

This was the goal.  From the day I made my decision to apply for teacher training, the ultimate goal was of course to get to my NQT year. It was to achieve the grades I needed at A-Level in order to get into my first choice uni and once there, to thrive and graduate.  Check. Tick. Done. So why do I really feel like teaching is the only profession where I don't feel 'celebrated' and welcomed by everyone? I am so proud of getting this far through education and to also have landed the job that I wanted in the first school I interviewed at, but is just doesn't seem like a shared excitement. This awareness first started close to home, where my cousin's husband was upset that his son was being taught by a "new, inexperienced, child"...... translation: a 21 yr old NQT.  I mean... he was having this moan about it to me. Knowing full well I was in my final year of the same profession and this "new, inexperienced, child" was soon to be me. Appare...

Five years ago today I stood in my school hall to collect my GCSE results. Surrounded by my fellow all-girls-grammar school peers (not the most comforting environment - you can only imagine the pressure) and as I read my letter out I was so relieved. Nothing lower than a B and a few A*s sprinkled in too.. I was so happy. Until I spoke to my friends.  'OMG I only got A*s!!'   'Im so upset, I got two As with my A*s' 'Did you hear that blahblah got 3 Bs? HA! Should have worked harder.'  I was mortified. I worked so hard, tirelessly revising, trying to keep up with my best friends who were naturally uber intelligent and didn't have to try. Photographic memories and pushy parents surrounded me. I did not feel like I belonged in that school, in the environment that myself and my parents worked so hard to put me in 7 years ago. I had the world ahead of me and left primary school with my face in the local paper as one of the 'golden girls of grammar school...